Roller Coaster Named Adoption

September 30, 2013

Right before one of my meetings on this Monday, my phone began to buzz on my desk. I looked at it and it read Holt China Program. "This can't be. It's been only a 2 weeks, but I hope it can be!"

I picked up and our agency stated that we have been matched and were wondering if we were interested in knowing more about the child to consider adopting. Before I heard any of the child's current status, in my mind, I kept thinking "YES! WE DO! YES!"

After accepting the match and wanting to get more information about this child, I headed to my meeting. Overjoyed and realizing that I need to tell Heather, I texted her midway through my meeting: "We got matched."

30 seconds later, my phone buzzes on the conference table, this time it read "Heather." But I was in a meeting and couldn't answer. She called again. And again. Fired a text and I finally was able to answer and say I was in a meeting and would tell her more later.

That evening, we were on a high, that our prayers have been answered and we were potentially going to be matched. Going into it, we were cautiously excited, as we still had to understand better this child's medical condition. I started to contact doctors that I knew that would help, as well as international adoption doctors. I also did my initial Google research. The initial thought would be something pretty minor that we could handle.

During the course of understanding, our prayer request was specifically to get a clear yes or no that this child would be a part of our forever family. So as we started to get assessments back from doctors, it started with a potential yes, then to a confusing direct no. Was this our answered prayer or was this more confusion. Or was it the answered prayer we hoped not to get? All this waiting and we finally get a match, but the answer is no? Can it be?

We talked with the agency to get a better understanding of the process and if we were just crazy or if this was normal. We already felt like instant parents of this child. We felt as though we could provide an environment where this child could thrive and get healthy. If we said no, it felt as though we were abandoning the child. If this was our biologial child, would we ever give up? The emotions of grasping the gravity of the situation was taking us on a roller coaster ride that we weren't expecting.

The following two weeks were tough emotionally, mentally, and, as close as we could get, parentally. Through all the additional medical feedback we received, we felt the answered prayer was to decline the referral. After providing the decision to Holt, they affirmed that it was the right decision for the child and for us. 

The rollercoaster has just begun.

Let Us In!!!

September 4, 2013

Now that we got all our dossier officially complete, we were set for our last two steps - DTC and LID. 

DTC means Dossier To China. This basically means sending our dossier to China. So we FedEx'ed to our agency and were onto the next step.

Once a dossier reaches China, they would then translate it and enter everything into their system. The formal name was Log In Date (LID). Luckily for us, that happened within a week and half of our DTC on September 16th!!!!

Now it's just a waiting game.....

China Con You Seal It

August 27, 2013

We are definitely blessed to live in the Bay Area, despite the high cost of living. To get our documents certified by the state, we are only 1.5 hours away from Sacramento. The next step in documentation is authentication by China. The Chinese consulate is in San Francisco. To get all this paperwork done, we don't need to mail it out and wait 6-8 weeks for the process to be completed.  Luckily, we just needed to wait in line to get that done.

Now that the dossier was certified by the state, we had to get the whole packet authenticated by China. So we left for work earlier on this day and I jumped on the 38 Geary when I got to downtown to wait in line. Seems like there is a line all the time at the China consulate.

Once inside, had to pick up a number and just wait for my turn to drop off the documents for the dossier. 

After dropping off the package, the hope is that all documents will pass and all the documents would be authenticated. In 3 days, we were able to come back and pick up the documents, they were all authenticated!!!!

Homeland Security Gots My Back

August 24, 2013

As part of the adoption process, we needed to complete and get approval of an I-800. This is officially an Application for Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country. What basically happens is Homeland Security will go over our homestudy and go over our history via our fingerprints. It's usually around a 90 day process. The first step was getting our fingerprints done.

In the spirit of trying to get all the paperwork done, as much as possible, we got hit with a pink letter from Homeland because we did not include a few required attachments. We were bummed a little, but quickly turned it around.

Within 2 weeks, PRAISE the LORD, we got the approval!!!! The 90 day process was now completed!!! What does this mean? This means that Homeland approves us AND our dossier is now complete with all the necessary official paperwork!!!!!

Back to Sac to get this document certified by the state. Then on to the China consulate for authentication.

Turning On the GPS

Now that we selected which agency to assist on our adoption journey, this was just like finally picking the car. We know who we want in the car and where to go to pick up the passenger. We know which car to help take us there. We know who is in the driver's seat and powering the car. Although we don't know for sure what the distance and time it is to get to the end, but what were some of the places or milestones for us along the way? As hard as it is, we know God knows the distance and time, but as we learned from our orientation and reading, there are some milestones to help us better understand the steps.

• Select an Agency - March 2013
• Complete Agency Family Application - April 2013
• Homestudy - May 2013
• Dossier Fulfillment
• Birth Certificates - May 2013
• Marriage Certificates - May 2013
• Physical Examination - May 2013
• Finanical Information - May 2013
• Employment Verification - May 2013
• Homestudy - May 2013
• Referrel Letters - May 2013
• Criminal and Background Check - May 2013
• US Visa and Approval to Adopt - Projected August 2013 
• Photos of Our Home  - July 2013
• Dossier Certified by the State of California - Partial June 2013
• Dossier Authenticated by the Chinese Embassy
• Dossier Approval by Agency
• Log In Date (LID) to China's Adoption Program (CCWAA)
• Matched with Child
• Letter of Intent to Adopt
• Visa Approval for Adoption
• Travel to China
• Gotcha Day!

Speed Dating

A big thing that we need to do on this adoption journey for our fobulous child is to choose an adoption agency. But with hundreds of organizations and the associated research, it seemed like a whirlwind. Where and how to start so we can start this long journey?

We started to ask around. We also did some bulletin board research. As we started to consider agencies, we also began to discuss where we wanted to adopt from, as that made a big difference. Naturally as we prayed and talked about things, we began to strongly consider adopting a child from China. This definitely helped us narrow down the agencies.

In a matter of weeks, we immediately were drawn to Holt International as our possible candidate. Not only was it an originating international adoption agency for Korea, it had a strong China program amongst other countries. In addition, we were impressed with its storied past. So we made some time out to listen to webinars put on by prior Holt families and heard their stories. Not only did it place comfort for us in knowing we would be dealing with an ethical and supporting agency both here in the US, but also over in China.

As we concluded with Holt, we felt God reaffirming our hearts not only on this infertility journey, but also in terms of adoption. During our agency reviews, looking back, it seemed as though God was strengthing us for His plans to start a forever family for the little one in China. One thing in particular was our decision to adopt from a special needs program.

Adopting a child that is need of special needs means a child has a medical condition, from minor to moderate to major, that is correctible in different ways. Children who have more severe cases, like down syndrome or that needs concentrated attention, are placed in the special focus grouping. As part of the special needs program, we felt that we were comfortable to adopt a child who may have some of these listed conditions, help correct the condition with the required medical treatment, and be the forever family. Not only that, this could also help the adoption process by lowering the amount of time to adopt a few years.

Once these decisions were made, we officially signed up and were on our way. Within the first month, God again showed us His goodness. Through different avenues of friends and reading, we found out other families that also used Holt for their adoption and were happy. God leads and is always true.

We're Pregnant!!!

We are pregnant!!! Pregnant with paperwork that is.

What have Heather and I gotten ourselves into? Mounds of paperwork that needs to filled out. The paperwork then needs to be notarized. Then after the final papers are signed and notarized, they would then need to be certified by the state of California. Oh yeah, then we need to get it authenticated by the Chinese consulate. Once these documents that make up the dossier to China are done, we then can send it over to China to be logged into their system, or LID (log in date).

Forgot to mention, that as we fill out the formal documentation, we needed to not only select an adoption organization, but also complete a homestudy to also get notarized and authenticated. The homestudy would cover our relationship, relationship skills, family, past and also evaluate our ability to parent an adopted child. Not to mention, be our connection point via the Hague Convention country that we choose for our international adoption, in this case - China.

All this paperwork. All the signatures. For what? For why?

Doc! Take us back in the past!

Almost four years ago, we decided to begin our journey to start a family. As we thought, our "monthly visitor" was always on time and never let us down. In a way, we felt that timing it right would allow for us to get pregnant fairly easily. After months without success, we decided to get a "ClearBlue" look into things so we can time our pregnancy better. The timing was definitely not in synce.

After some prayer and discussion, we decided to talk to a Reproductive Endocrinologist at our medical group. She was awesome and gave us awesome care. The following two years opened our eyes to God's amazing creative genius and how life begins. More importantly, how God's plan for our family journey was not the one we imagined, yet the one for us. 

As a result, we found out that Heather has a condition known as endometriosis. This condition, in a nutshell, made it scientifically difficult for us to easily get pregnant. We decided to try different medical assisted procedures for a span of 2 years. It started with a laproscopy to clear as much as possible, followed by multiple unsuccessful intrautrine inseminiation (IUI), a successful in vitro fertilization (IVF), and finally ending in a heartbreaking miscarriage of our twins. 

In our journey of infertility, God remained faithful throughout. Each day God found a way to draw us closer dispite the emotional roller coaster; the physical impact of surgery, needles and loss; the relationship toll in our marriage, family, friends, and God; and our personal spiritual relationship with God. Through His unwavering faithfullness and plan for our family, God has carried us and whether we knew it or not, led us through this journey to start our family through adoption. 

We have always considered adoption as a way to extend our family but not as a means to start it. One thing we have continuously learned on this journey is God is good, no matter our circumstances. That has undoubtedly led us to where we are today and pregnant with paperwork.